One Year Ago

The night before we had raced go-carts for an ARS work party. I killed it but got really sick from the fumes. The kind of sick that you just need something in your belly. So we stopped and I got a rice krispy treat....

I didn't have to work until later. So I went to the gym. I didn't have much energy so I did the elliptical machine instead of running. I was craving bacon. I started crying when "American Soldier" came on my iPod. You know the version with the little kids talking about their dads?

I went home and wrote a post about how my birthday was going ok. Well more that it wasn't sucking like most of my birthdays do. Took the pregnancy test out of the box. Started cleaning and packing for our trip to Phoenix for the next day. Kept looking at the pregnancy test. Ate some breakfast.

Finally decided that this could be the best birthday ever or it would just align with all of the other crappy birthdays I have had. I don't think I had ever felt nerves like I did that day. I paced for a few minutes to get the courage to even look at the test. {A lot of negative tests will do that do a girl}

And well...I am glad Jib was the only one there to witness my slight breakdown at the positive test. There aren't words to describe my excitement.

Then came the decisions. Most importantly how to tell the daddy? But before I could get there I received a phone call offering me a new job. I had no idea what to do. I called Jonas and my mom to get their advice but of course they didn't know the real reason behind my trepidation. I decided to take their advice anyways and take the job. This really was a blessing in disguise.

So then I could focus on telling Jonas. I knew this moment would be a pivotal one in our relationship. That things would never be the same after he opened this present.

And if we would have had any idea what was headed our way we probably wouldn't have been able to wait for her to be born.

Because this little girl is the only perfect thing in this crazy life.

So thank you Jonas for giving me the best birthday I have ever had. And thank you Hadley for making me look forward to every birthday I get to spend with you!